t  u  r  n   o  n   t  h  e   l  i  g  h  t

a c o l l e c t i o n o f e v o l v i n g e s s a y s

a n e x a m i n a t i o n o f p e r s o n a l w o r l d v i e w a n d o u r p o s i t i o n i n t h e c o s m i c e t h e r

Table of Contents _

_ on reality

_ on violins

_ on nature

_ on painting

_ on movement

_ on action v intention

_ on expression

_ on choices

_ on history

_ on influence

_ on death

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On Reality

The reality we observe is malleable and can be changed at any given moment based on relation and circumstance. This is because the structure of a thing relies entirely on it’s relationship to another and so on. I’d like to keep things simple and start with color as our main example as it’s one of the most foundational levels of our perception. In color interactions we can see how important relation and circumstance can be to the witnessing of the world around us. A green house may appear perfectly green at one time of day, but as the light moves, the color and direction of the light changes. Gradually, the sun begins to move into a harsher angle and shine on the red house next door to the green house. The reflective light bouncing off of the red house is landing on that side of the green house. This side of the green house now appears to be a rusty-orange/brown version of the original green. The opposite side of the green house is now also getting direct sunlight. Because it’s later in the day, the sun is lower and is shining through our atmosphere at a different angle. The light that is shining now, in the evening is more orange with warm blue tones than it was around mid-day making the side of the green house, opposite the red house side, in direct light, a much warmer, pale grey version of the original green.

A change in perception can also be seen when placing certain colors next to other colors. The red house next to the green house will make each color vibrate and seem “more” the color they are - making the green seem more green and the red more red. Place a row of pale yellow houses down a shaded street and the mood of the area will feel more uplifted than it had before. Same goes in the opposite direction, a row of dark red houses will feel heavy and mysterious. 

Place two colors next to each other and they can change a number of things, from mood and feeling to what the colors specifically tell us about the object holding the color. If you place a swatch of orange below a swatch of blue a landscape will be conjured. Add a small green swatch and a spot of red and some dessert plants may emerge in the viewer’s mind. 

Color and shadow are the two key elements used to see the world. From these two pieces of information we can decipher depth and distance, we can make assumptions about whether a plant or animal is edible or poisonous, we can understand textures and materials and more. This detailed information all starts with our brain examining the relationships between colors and shadows and relating those relationships to previous relationships we have witnessed. 

An observer may understand that an object is made of concrete instead of carved stone when observing the smooth surface’s very small air pockets created during the casting process- shown through the slight shadows made in the indents. The observer may know how cement is cast and relating this information to the object in front of them will inform them of its material. 

That being said, we all see very differently. Maybe there is some kind of aversion to pale yellow houses and that row of them on the nice neighborhood street might conjure an overwhelming and oppressive shift in the environment where another observer might be relieved by the bright row of houses. One observer may not know how concrete or stone is cast or carved respectfully and they may have to get up very close to the object to understand its material. They may even introduce another sense and touch the surface to give them further information. While emotions and previous experience can create differences in how something is seen from human to human, as we move away from our species, the tools begin to change and thus create a different version of the world humans see.  

As we know, different animals have different combinations of color cones ranging from 1 or 2 (mixing red and green to make blank blank and blank) all the way up to 12. This immediately creates a different reality with each of these differences in color receptors. One animal will see something as one color given the proper cones to perceive it where  another animal will not. Since we understand that color does play a key role in an animals survival, we can assume that a lot of the same relational connections are being made when they witness one color as opposed to another. We’re not certain, of course, how an animal might “feel” about each color to know if they’d prefer a row of yellow houses over dark red houses based solely on aesthetic appearance. What we do know is that animals use color in a vast varieties of ways including but not limited to changing the color of their own skin as a form of detailed communication or simply a means for survival. 

There are some animals that primarily sense motion instead of color. If something is not actively on the move, the animal will not see it at all. The thing that was in motion and now has stopped will cease to exist for the observer until the observed enters back into motion and thus back into the reality of the observer.

Now let’s examine what light actually is. 

Light is simply the visualization of an energetic output. Depending on the kind of energy produced, the waves radiating from those energetic bursts may have faster or slower wavelengths creating the spectrum of light that we see. A very energetic object will produce a great deal of light moving very quickly. As the object burns energy and it’s output is decreased, the wavelengths will decrease as well. If an object in a vacuum were truly stopped (meaning it is expelling absolute zero energy) the object would not appear at all. If you were to shine a light on that object, the light waves that hit it would transfer energy to its surface making its atoms move again. Without the transfer or heat (energy) to some degree, the object is not recordable. Therefore, if an object were to truly stop, it would cease to exist in the reality that we can witness and understand. 

Point 1:

Heat is the crucial component. Without heat, time ceases. It is the burning of heat that gives us the context of time. Time is simply based off of the aging of other objects in relation, be it your older brother, the sun that lights our earth or the nebulae that produce our stars

Point 2:

There is more opportunity for an object to fall out of time the less heat it generally puts off. Very hot objects are creating the inescapable structure of time that we ourselves observe.

Point 3:

This fact is crucial in building our vision of the universe because it gives cognition a place to plant it’s feet in order to observe. Remember, observation as well is simply relation. The cat is alive and dead at once until you observe one fact or the other and it all starts with where on the spectrum something lands between hot and cold (or vibrating and not)

Point 4:

Everything is relative and there is a structure that the entire universe rides upon. There comes a point, very quickly, where you can’t escape the relation of another on the thing you are trying to observe. The nature of thought is relative. Something must be this because it isn’t this other. 

Conclusion:

When we try to understand and observe nature, the truth underneath our comparisons must be taken into account. When thinking about physics, what time and space might be, how all of these interesting plants got here and all of the interesting paintings people have made about them, even when pondering natural selection, free will, psychic energy, or energy in general, when thinking about spirituality and the unexplainable, when thinking about our feelings about ourselves and the world around us, we must first understand the foundation of our world at the field level (seen or unseen) as everything from the pavement under your feet to the feelings you have about a past relationship are only there in relation to something else. Without anything else to compare anything else to, “anything else” would cease to be a thing at all.

Relation:

There is a happy medium that creates reality which I will discuss further in the essay “On Movement”.

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On Violins

Thesis : If/Then/Because

Violins can move a person emotionally because vibrations mimic (or ride) one of the most foundational fields in our universe; waves.

Point 1: 

Unlike light waves, vibrational waves in sound effect, more than affect. While light and sound are both physical manipulations of fields, the movement and effect on atoms from sound waves is more physical than that of the effect of light.

Point 2:

Light holds information where music holds movement 

Point 3:

Movement is a more jarring experience because it rides the line of falling into chaos or breaking apart completely. This opens cracks in the soul, as an earthquake may open a volcanic channel. This movement allows our atoms to re-settle in a new position, if only microscopically.

Conclusion:

Music is the greatest method we laymen have to effect (or affect) the universal structure around us in a directed and emotionally stimulating way. 

Relation:

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On Nature

Thesis : If/Then/Because

If reality is circumstantial and can be moved, manipulated and changed, then nature is circumstantial. If Nature is circumstantial then habits and matter may be changed given the proper circumstance.

Point 1:

Natural selection in terms of relation

Point 2:

When placed in a particular setting a persons habits and beliefs and sometimes reality may change - rehab / friend groups / gangs / cults

How is this similar in the animal world as well and what are our hang ups?

Point 3:

How are thoughts related? What are thoughts in the physical world other than energy and signals. Pulses and waves. Can thoughts and perspectives be changed given an adjustment of wavelengths in relation to those building your thoughts? 

What is the impact of this on cognitive science and at home self help?

Conclusion:

Relation:

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On Painting

Thesis : If/Then/Because

Point 1:

Point 2:

Point 3:

Conclusion:

Relation:

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On Movement

Thesis : If/Then/Because

We seek a perfect amount of movement because in stagnation lies the collapsing of time and reality and in rushing lies missed opportunity.

Point 1:

As time and space are contingent upon relation for us to understand them there must always be something moving in relation to something else for things to be calm enough to see and call them “real”.

Point 2:

The dilemma of Rest:

The dilemma of rest is that reality is adjusted when sitting. Time is moving slower, things are not happening (or relating) as quickly as they were when you were standing and moving. When we are tired and have something that needs to be done, sitting down and taking a break can derail you.

Think of this basic (and unrealistic, but illustrative example) in the moment that a lumberjack is swinging an ax, they decide they are tired and put the ax down. The lumberjack has already released the energy and momentum into the ax which means they have 2 options if they want to take a break in the middle of their swing - exude a tremendous amount of resist energy to pull the ax back to a resting position, or leave the ax completely and let it fly wildly out of control the moment the relation between the mind, hand and ax has been severed.

Point 3:

The dilemma of constant movement:

Although rest can be a problem when a thought or action has not been completed, constant movement is itself an issue as it creates a vacuum of relative information. It certainly is possible in a purely factual existence to be born and then go and go and go until your death, as well it is possible to sit and sit and sit until your death. This may be true, but (a question unanswered) what is our purpose in this life?

Conclusion: 

If we take one extreme we will sit forever and reality will slip away. On the reverse, we could go as fast as possible and miss important relationships between small subtle objects. There is a middle ground where the picture is clear. Although, like any picture there must always be a focal point and we lose the details of the surroundings. The surroundings are simply there to bring context to the focus. 

What we seek is less about movement, greener grass on the other side, or a ‘get up and go’ attitude. What we truly seek is a focused picture, but the middle ground is a difficult place to firmly plant your feet forever.

Relation:

Although this essay has given you obvious examples and likely told you things you already knew, I felt it was important to include as it primes your thinking for the following essays “On Action v Intention”, “On Expression” & “On Choices”.

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On Action v Intention

Thesis : If/Then/Because

Point 1:

Point 2:

Point 3:

Conclusion:

Relation:

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On Expression

Thesis : If/Then/Because

Point 1:

Point 2:

Point 3:

Conclusion:

Relation:

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On Choices

Thesis : If/Then/Because

Point 1:

Point 2:

Point 3:

Conclusion:

Relation:

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On History

Thesis : If/Then/Because

Recorded history is actually farthest from reality. As it is the recounting of events, it is in its own nature to be an edited, curated and relational account of the event influenced by either the author, the political climate of the time (which is different from the climate in which the history is being passed on) or the political climate of the future in recalling these events with new or adjusted information and circumstance.

Point 1:

The actual event — 

how is it muddied in the moment?

How has the initial story been dampened, silenced or amplified?

How does our natural lack of awareness effect these stories?

Point 2:

The writer —

How does one person’s (or a small group’s) perspective translate an event that took place in reality?

Compare to something huge and lengthy and suggest everything that was left out from that story. 

Although these things may seem dismissible or unimportant, we are effected by so many wild circumstances that leaving even one out (which we naturally do when translating an event to language) will spark the game of telephone that is every piece of our oral and written history. 

Point 3:

The editor —

How does distance effect the important elements?

How does an outside perspective change the felt reality at the time of the event?

How does our natural lack of awareness accumulate over time to change the way these stories act?

Conclusion:

Relation:

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On Influence? 

The desire to exclude myself is strong. In exclusion I limit my general impact out of respect for other lives being lived. Not feeling attached or sentimental about life, I have found that I do not want to interrupt the life of someone who is feeling positively towards life. They see abundance and beauty, and depth; vivid colors, ultra rich purples that you could just fall into; blossoming relationships that feel euphoric for no tangible reason, human interactions that feel like the warmth of the sun cast across bare skin in the morning. And what does the sun feel like other than heat? And why do those purples seem so grey to me? And why can’t I paint the purple I think they see? It can never be dark enough or rich enough to truly move me. I have come close to creating the darkness I am searching for but by the morning, as the sun rises, the colors have all washed out and feel like a medium grey. I want to feel completely immersed in my paintings. I want to feel the colors and the space so deeply that I could fall in but by the morning they are shallow and feel like making small talk with a stranger. That kind of meandering conversation that feels nice in the moment until you go on your way. You realize you hadn’t heard anything they said because neither of you said anything either of you hadn’t heard before. It was some humdrum conversation about the weather or politics or how much the neighborhood has changed. All in reference to what we’ve previously seen. All in the assumption of an agreeable topic of conversation with no challenge or importance. In almost all human interactions, these feelings wash me away. I feel outside of myself and empty. I feel as though I am checking boxes and playing the game of life to appease the conversationalist I am confronted with. My presence in human interactions feels unimportant and forced. The distance we all are from truly understanding each other is staggering and dominates my thoughts in any instance where I must relate or interact with another person. A feeling of misunderstanding the person I am speaking with builds a great divide in the conversation and our interactions around each other. The fear of saying something that may offend the person being spoken to and the fear of saying something that may offend yourself is overpowering. If I were to exclude myself from these interactions altogether, I may never find myself repulsive and I may never find other people repulsive. And I may find the deep purple I’ve been looking for all these years in its purest form, without the shallow words we use to describe it and without the artificial pigments we harvest to mimic it. To find the true color before it turns grey in the human need to describe and dissect; before it is translated and understood to be turned into cold, digestible facts. Grey facts include a mountain range, a meadow, a sunset, a summer evening in the park and more. All washed out with desperate attempts by language and relation to plug meaning into these circumstantial places and events, inadvertently draining them of the very thing the language was hoping to capture and preserve. Now, instead, the language has taken over the initial feelings with the ignorance and limits of description. Maybe we would know what really happens in a meadow at dusk if no one ever tried to explain it. 

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On Death

Thesis : If/Then/Because

Point 1:

Point 2:

Point 3:

Conclusion:

Relation: